What to say when mostly what I want to say is “fuck it”. The thing is I’m not getting done the things I’d wanted to get done, like writing or playing music or working out or updating my resume. In part, it’s because my sleep is not so great and my energy level has taken a hit. But I think the larger part is that right now I can’t stand to open myself\u00a0 up to heartbreak or hope or longing or disappointment. I don’t want to deal with wanting something.<\/p>\n
So I’m doing what I can to get by. Going to work. Cooking food. Doing my dishes. Riding me bike. Paying my bills. Reading the New Yorker in bits.\u00a0 Watching TV here and there. Eating donuts.\u00a0 I love donuts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What to say when mostly what I want to say is “fuck it”. The thing is I’m not getting done the things I’d wanted to get done, like writing or playing music or working out or updating my resume. In part, it’s because my sleep is not so great and my energy level has taken […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grief"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=242"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/242\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}