{"id":839,"date":"2012-08-29T01:20:18","date_gmt":"2012-08-29T01:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/?p=839"},"modified":"2012-08-29T01:20:18","modified_gmt":"2012-08-29T01:20:18","slug":"i-wasnt-sure-if-i-wanted-to-write-about-this-but-i-did-and-then-i-hit-the-publish-button","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/?p=839","title":{"rendered":"i wasn&#8217;t sure if i wanted to write about this but i did and then i hit the publish button"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since I turned 50 (gasp), I \u00a0have been thinking about aging. In large part, because I can no longer ignore it. The physical signs have made themselves apparent. Some of it I embrace, like the silver hair and the reading glasses. Some of it I tolerate, like the wrinkles and lines and looser skin. Some of it I don&#8217;t talk about\u00a0publicly, like menopause. I alternate between being pissed and feeling defeated by how it&#8217;s 1000 times harder to get in shape and 100o times easier for it to all go to pot. I try not to freak out that I&#8217;ve gone from having an incredible memory for all sorts of facts and figures to forgetting names of things, like bands and books and sometimes people. It&#8217;s all very strange and it don&#8217;t think it helps that I never set many goals that corresponded to age related milestones, like by 40 I want to have done a, b and c and by 50 I want to have done x, y and z. I&#8217;m not sure what that would have helped with exactly, but it seems like it would have helped with something. Like a list of achievements could balance out a bunch of new wrinkles.<\/p>\n<p>Talking about this is like coming out again. I feel a little like I did when I was a baby dyke, but now I am a baby old person. I cringe when I hear people I know try and guess at the age of someone and say something like &#8220;hes old, like 50 or something.&#8221; Or when people tell me I look great for my age. Just say I look great or maybe that I don&#8217;t look a day over 40. Seriously. Save the age related compliments for those 90 and up (although it might piss them off too). For me, I&#8217;ve gotten better looking as I&#8217;ve gotten older, which I&#8217;m not saying from vanity, but more from a thank god perspective. I had to age into me. Also, I think I might start telling people they look great for a being a 32 year old or a 26 year old. See what happens. \u00a0Whew, I&#8217;m off on a tangent.<\/p>\n<p>The thing I wanted to talk about more than the above rant was how intellectually, you understand you will age, but emotionally you really don&#8217;t believe it until it starts happening to you. Probably something similar to getting pregnant or things changing after you get married. There&#8217;s probably hundred of examples of stuff like that. That you need experiential knowledge of to really get.<\/p>\n<p>Well I need to eat so I can go see a movie, I think. I just got going on this post and it&#8217;s kind of interesting and kind of\u00a0embarrassing\u00a0and vulnerable too, but I think it&#8217;s ok.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since I turned 50 (gasp), I \u00a0have been thinking about aging. In large part, because I can no longer ignore it. The physical signs have made themselves apparent. Some of it I embrace, like the silver hair and the reading glasses. Some of it I tolerate, like the wrinkles and lines and looser skin. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-insights"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=839"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/839\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":841,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/839\/revisions\/841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.proteanme.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}