01.06.2016 two things

January 7, 2016

1. Walking across the sky bridge this morning at the cusp of dawn and feeling like I’m on a set of a Star Wars or Star trek movie – a 660 foot long cooridor in the air, held in place by repeating x’es of thick white steel beams and enclosed in glass. Epic and sterile and full of purpose. Then  glimpsing, the beginning of the sunrise behind the silhouette of Hood.

2. Walking from the conference room to my cubes, maybe 30 steps total of cubes. Been sitting too long and my gate makes me feel like I am lumbering giant.

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hello 2016

January 2, 2016

It’s cold. Which is what happens here in the winter when the rain stops and the sun comes out. Especially if the wind picks up. Shivers. Even the puddles at the dog park were frozen over. So starts 2016 – all bundled up and wearing sunglasses.

I have a plan for this year. Read more books, start writing again, make some art, keep playing music, work out more than not working out, make food, see my friends more often, get rid of some stuff, stay curious, say yes more than no.


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4137 Miles Later

October 28, 2015

Fifteen months after moving in with MTB and I’ve logged over 4000 miles and around 318 hours on my bike. Just getting back and forth from our home to my job. Whew. That’s almost like riding from here to Indy and back.

My work commute is about 20 miles round trip, and I telecommute one day a week, but do I ride year round. Thank you, gear! And by gear I mean fenders, rain jacket, booties, gloves, wool shirt, etc., all of which gets me through the larger chunk of my commuting days. Some weather does keep me out of the saddle, namely snow and ice. And while I fucking hate wind, and I will talk about it at length later, even on the windiest days last year, I rode, as long as the temperature or wind chill didn’t drop to, or below, the low 20’s. Once it gets that cold, my hands and my face can’t stand up to a 45 minute ride. It just feels miserable, even after I get off my bike, warming up my hands is so painful that sometimes I cry a little.

These day, I’m actively trying not to think about those kinds of conditions. I’m conserving my mental energy to adjust to the fall — to dark mornings, shorter evenings and cooler temperatures. And to the rain.


The rain.

It’s supposed to rain every day for the rest of this week and weekend.

When it comes to high temperatures, I have lots more tolerance. When it got into the upper 90’s or hotter out here this past summer, I was fine. I just drank lots of water and slowed down my pace. On a couple of occasions, like when everything was on fire and the wind covered Portland in smoke, I loaded my bike in my car, drove half way to work, parked and then biked in the rest way. And a couple of other days I rode to work in the morning, and then met MTB afterward and we loaded the bike up on her car for the drive home, which, interestingly, took us about as long as it would have taken me to bike the same distance. Portland car traffic is real. Stupid real.

Since moving, most of my bike mileage has come from my work commute, and, on the books, that makes sense because it’s a longish commute. But, also I’m doing less of the other kind of riding that I used to do, which was a combination of biking around to run errands and to go out, or to meet friends, or just to take a ride because riding is fun. I think I do less of this kind of biking, in large part, because I live further out now, and getting to places takes more effort and planning and logistics, and all of this, I will also talk about more, later. But even though I don’t bike to as many different kinds of activities as I used to, during fair weather I do ride more. And that means that for 3 months out of the year, I might be averaging more like 100 or 120 biking miles a week. And that means that I’ve probably biked somewhere upwards of 4500 miles since I moved in with MTB.

All this to say, I spend a lot of time in the cycling world. Most of it biking, for sure, but there’s also time spent maintaining my bikes, dealing with gear, staying up on the biking news, planning my routes, checking the weather forecast, which I do every night when I am riding the next day, and transitioning on and off my bike, which means anything from packing and unpacking my panniers to waxing and/or venting about my ride. It’s a big part of my life, and it kind of snuck up on me, as in, I never planned to be riding this much. But here I am and I want to talk about it.


goodbye RJ

July 1, 2014

We’re not even going to cry about this. Even though I did after you left. And felt bad that I vacuumed while you carried stuff out to your car. I think I just couldn’t figure out what to do and was sad. You moving in this house two years ago was the best thing. Now, you’re like family. Pretty much like when I lived with Bec in Bloomington. I can barely believe I’ve struck gold twice. Thank you world of housemates/friends/family. RJ, as long as I have a home, you have a place to stay.

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hurry up and wait

July 1, 2014

The end of the era has ended or will very, very soon. The moving truck should be here within the hour and I am sitting here waiting for them, amid my neatly consolidated pile of boxes, trying to be patient. The movers are delayed by their morning move, which unexpectedly turned into an all day move because there was so much stuff and a tricky layout out at their customer’s new house. Whatever. Sigh. For a while I weeded to distract myself. My neighbor, who knows I am moving, saw me and said I must be feeling really guilty about the yard. But after I told him about the movers, he agreed with me, that pulling weeds can be kinda meditative when you’re killing time. Now my hands are dirty and the scrub brush is packed up. Who know’s where? I wish Phil were here. I took him out to MTB’s this morning, trying to give him some time at the new house while the dogs are at dog care. MTB said he is settling in. Fingers crossed that blending Phil into the animal family will go well. Or as well as it can go. Not spinning out on that right now, though. Concentrating on the movers who I want to get here. I’m running out of patience. My car’s been packed for hours. I’ve thrown out the last stuff to throw out of the fridge – the old hummus, the half jar of peanut-butter, 6 radishes and two open bottles of siracha. The evening traffic has picked up. Motorcycle, car, car, car going too fast, bus. I am ready to jump into line with them. Let’s go. Let’s go. I’ve been saying good-bye to this house for a year. I said goodbye to RJ yesterday. I sat in the house by myself and turned up the stereo and cried. Enough. Let’s get this show on the road!

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what do i love – day five

February 15, 2014
  • Two lane highways
  • That my birthday is in the summer
  • Making hand crank ice cream
  • My panniers
  • Thunderstorms
  • That I wore purple velvet knickers when I was 10
  • Female jocks
  • Lifting weights
  • Sweet tea
  • How a good drummer changes everything
  • Playing raquetball
  • The internet
  • My insulated Klean Kanteen
  • My loud ass 4 fingered whistle
  • Creative collaborations
  • Knowing friends for over 20 years
  • A pork tenderloin sandwich from the Monroe County fair
  • Passing as a dude sometimes
  • Sharing a meal with friends
  • A good hair cut
  • Cool sunglasses


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what do i love – day 4

February 14, 2014
  • The sound of crickets
  • MTB’s garden
  • Doodling
  • Learning something new
  • Blueberries
  • Prince
  • Building something
  • Falling in love with a new song and then evangalizing the crap out of it to other people
  • A good diner, like the Otis cafe or Dianes
  • Manhattan
  • The Painted Hills
  • The Song of Solomon
  • Listening to Kurt Vonnegut’s voice
  • A British accent
  • Playing my guitar
  • Every time Becky’s come to visit me in Portland
  • Campfire food

what do i love – day three

February 13, 2014
  • Sticking with itness
  • Fava beans
  • Pet Sounds
  • Building a camp fire
  • Playing Boggle
  • A tostada
  • Writing music
  • Splitting wood with an axe
  • Imperfect heroes
  • A close basketball game
  • My space pen
  • Being born in the 60s
  • The county fair
  • Lonesome Dove
  • Trading
  • Fireflies
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what do i love – day two

February 12, 2014
  1. Kindness
  2. Reading a book out loud together
  3. Night-time bike rides in the summer
  4. Cooking
  5. My cat
  6. Taking a walk
  7. Tomatoes from the garden
  8. Laughing
  9. Being a Hoosier
  10. My dad’s best friend
  11. That I moved across the country
  12. Pussy willows
  13. Hugs
  14. Cooking
  15. Macgyvering something
  16. The song, Under Pressure
  17. Watching dykes play softball
  18. My summer camp
  19. A good chef’s knife
  20. Taking photos



what do i love – day one

February 11, 2014

My friend, Bart, has inspired me to come up with my own list. As well as my own experiment of posting a new list each day for next five days. So here goes day one.

  • A hot shower
  • Fizzy water
  • Sun light
  • My girlfriend
  • The way I feel after a work out
  • Good wool socks
  • The Melissa Harris-Perry show
  • Getting things done
  • The idea of liminality
  • My family
  • Playing cards
  • Camping
  • My friends
  • Solving problems
  • Wood fired pizza
  • Looking at Jackson Pollack paintings
  • Making peach pie
  • Being a butch
  • Petting dogs
  • 70’s R & B, especially Al Green