proteanme

The sky looks magical. I am sitting on the floor in my bedroom and looking out my window at the the very thinnest clouds and they can’t contain the moon, and unlike last night, they’re not in a rush. I should be in bed. I”m tired. But sometimes I like to capture these sleepy minutes, when I feel looser and less worried if I am saying things right.

I went out to see a show tonight and I accidentally parked by the place of my first date with MTB. It was hard not to get caught up remembering riding my bike up to Biwa and seeing her sitting in the little window alcove and how I hadn’t been nervous until right that moment, so then how I just concentrated on trying to keep my shit together. locking up my bike, thinking of what to talk about, trying to be cool with the fact that the date was actually happening. It all seemed so sweet and kinda . . . well . . . the nervous part was sweet.

Anyway, seems like it’s been forever since I’ve gone to see a show. The opening band looked like it had been transported directly from the 70s, circa Allman Brothers, Don Henley and Rush and sounded like an Eagles-Nirvana mash up. They had a few good moments and they definitely put it all out there for the 25 people standing around and vaguely paying attention to them. The second band seemed like something from an episode of Portlandia. One guy looked like a hobbit, another looked like a roadie for Tom Petty, another looked outdoorsy-gay, another had the short hair-big beard thing and the drummer was a  woman dressed circa late 80s. They had some moments too and did a pretty good Tom Petty cover, which seemed fitting because of the one guy. Sera Cahoone rocked it in her country style, sad hole way. Also, her band was soooo good with this one guy totally rocking a lap steel guitar. I really hope Sera is queer. That would be excellent. She seems like it to me but explaining why that is would lapse into stereotypes.

Also, I got completely gender checked in the bathroom at the Doug Fir. I opened the door to a women entering at the same time I was leaving and she stopped and looked at me and then up at the sign on the door and then back at me and then said “Am I in the right bathroom?” And I said, “I don’t know but I’m the right person.”

Wow, the moon got bright all of the sudden. I wish I could be out at Sauvie Island or something, staring at the moon from a back porch or a barn or really, I’d just take  pulling my car over on a little stretch of empty road. Maybe I will will try to go to sleep with the blinds up. Fool myself into being somewhere I am not. At least not physically.