proteanme

So my girl who lives across the country, who I’ve mentioned here every now and then, told me she read some of my blog the other day. And at first I was like shit what have I been blogging about and then I thought was it boring and then I thought was it manly enough. Nothing like a little neurosis. But all that passed and mostly I’ve thought about how after reading this blog she said something like it’d be fun to read a blog about your butchness. I once told her I was considering keeping a blog about being butch, which I think I also mentioned here a while back. And I realized that in many ways segmenting that conversation off from the larger conversation I try to have with myself here is just perpetuating this fragmentation. I’m tired of living my life in pieces. So heads up, I’m gonna talk about my butchness and guyness from time to time and if I say something and you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, just ask me.

One of my ideas for my butch blog was to post something everyday that validated my butchness, like admiring on the sly the idea of cleavage or the hint of a thigh while a feminine woman is talking about something smart or serious. It feels like all the lobes in my brain get engaged at once and sometimes that’s all I need to make my day better.  I can be standing in line at the grocery and I’ll notice painted toe nails pushed through the strap of a sandal and I’ll think man it’s my lucky day.