softer
It’s so interesting how thoughts and feelings that arise around something can harden you or soften you or both. I like the idea of both because I’d like to get away from all the binary thinking of this either/or culture. Say for instance I’ve have some unwanted experience, like rejection, I can get pissed and hurt and close myself off or I can feel sad and closer to the pain of other folks who I know are feeling rejected too. Especially folks who feel rejected by me. And for a second I can also see maybe it was never about rejection; maybe it was about someone seeking out connection or trying to soothe their loneliness and longing and fear; maybe it was about self-preservation; maybe it was was about timing.
Maybe it’s ok if I’m even a little softer than I thought I was.
a lovely post liz. thank you.
yes, lovely. if i didn’t know better i’d think you were writing about specific elements of my life. abstract generalizations are tricky business, but in the long run it’s probably better to be soft, and therefore at risk of harm, than the alternative.
awww, thanks ned and silvia. what you means a lot to me. i keep thinking how great it was to spend time with you both this summer. and how much i wish i could arrange my life to do more of that.