proteanme

I had a dream about my dad last night. When I first woke up, around 5am or so, I thought to myself oh man, I really want to remember this dream, but then the second time I awoke up at 6:30am I’d all but forgotten everything except a general outline, which basically consisted of my dad and I working on a project together. Maybe building something or fixing something; I don’t know exactly, but we were wearing big, matching, straw hats. And at some point my mom walked into the room where my dad and I were working and she said something to us about my sister.

I wanted so much to remember more of it, which for a little while made me feel sad. Dreaming about my dad is the only way to be close to him now; plus, I am afraid I am going to forget him.

I know it must sound like I’m way down, and sometimes the grief does hit hard, but mostly I’ve wanted to use the blog to my chronicle grief. It’s a intense. Door opens and it’s a different world.