it’s all my head
Yesterday I was lying in the hammock with RU and Phil, my cat, was lying under us, all stretched out flat like a pancake, which used to be my nickname for him.. With our combined weight the swing was resting only 3 or 4 inches above Phil and I said to RU, “If the hammock breaks we’ll kill Phil.” RU assured me that the hammock wasn’t going to break and it’s not like I was terribly worried, it was more that I was noticing my catastrophic thinking. It’s like when we’d stopped at this tiny state park on our our little Oregon trip and I couldn’t stop thinking about the how the woods on the other side of the road looked just like woods in the assassination scene in Miller’s Crossing.This is what my brain looks like when I’m anxious and changing jobs has brought on some anxiety, giving me lots of opportunities to notice how kinda nuts my thoughts can get. Luckily I don’t buy in to the whole “I think therefore I am” adage.
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