proteanme

Is is a good idea to eat corn fritters twice in less than a week? And with sour cream and salsa and spicy honey syrup? I’ve got the genes to handle the cholesterol, but do I have the other jeans the calories? I think I’m trying too hard to be clever with that line. Still, when I get the the first ears of corn from my farm share, I can’t resist turning them into fritters.

Hmmm . . . day 7 of my 10 day challenge and I don’t know what to write which is an interesting dilemma and different than not wanting to write at all. Proof, if one needs it of how things change. And I suppose I always need that kind of proof to ride me through the “I don’t want to/this sucks/fuck this” phase I go through with just about everything I do, maybe even more so with things I deeply care about doing.  Life is  full of irony.

I have been thinking about love lately. Trying to understand what it really is to love someone. It’s kind of funny for me to be having this conversation with myself, as I am kind of love junkie, a serial monogamish monogamist. But things have not worked out with a lot of people or what seems to me like like a lot of  people. And I loved every one of them. So what does that mean? What does that say about love? I’m not even sure if I am explaining this accurate to the way I’m thinking about it. But I think there is some part of love I don’t get or do right that’s about unconditional acceptance and generosity and showing up in a heartfelt and in the spirit of partnership way that I do not get. Some part of  love that is about being that person’s “fan” that I won’t do. Or haven’t done, thus far. I probably need to think on this some more. But that’s what I’ve been thinking about love lately. Maybe I should go back and re-read Bell Hooks.