proteanme

I feel like I’m trying to fit in as many late night bike rides as I possibly can before the rainy season hits. Because I know that I am going to miss doing this thing I love and I really fucking love it. Love it, like “secret joy,” except its not really a secret. Also, trying to ride as much as I can is a kind of great experiment with saying “yes” (love it and miss it deeply) instead of “no” (shut down to loving it and miss out on how amazing it it). Bike riding is a very low bar for that kind of experiment. Another foray into being more open hearted.

The whole “yes” idea reminds me of how when RU and I first got together, that was our thing, just saying “yes.”  “Our thing”  may not be the most accurate term, but it was how we approached the thing that was happening between us without over thinking too much, which is hard for over thinkers. I don’t save a lot of cards and ephemera like I used to when I was younger, but I do think I still have a small card that came with some  flowers that RU sent me the 2nd month we were dating on which she wrote “Yes!”

That’s funny that happened – that I wrote about that. It’s not what I set out to write about, but I’ve also been experimenting here with seeing where an idea or a thread leads. Its not unusual for it to be sentimental in some way.

I had meant to write about more about how much I love riding my bike and how I love how it makes makes me notice things around me and gets my brain working better. And how I really love feeling my body work, even when my legs feel like lead and its hard to breath. I’m not really the cheerleaderish type but some little voice inside is saying, “yay, your body works and yay, you’re working your body.”